


Holy Galaxy

by jostens_pitch



Category: All For The Game - Nora Sakavic
Genre: Canon Divergence, First Kiss, M/M, and the sun and moon, but it spiraled, mentions of God - Freeform, this was really just writing practice, very soft yet angsty
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-12
Updated: 2020-11-12
Packaged: 2021-03-10 03:14:16
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,515
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27527470
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jostens_pitch/pseuds/jostens_pitch
Summary: “Here, under Andrew, Neil has found the holy grounds that he wishes to pray upon.”-or a rewrite of their first kiss heavily inspired by “in this shirt” by the irrepressibles.
Relationships: Neil Josten/Andrew Minyard
Comments: 4
Kudos: 68





	Holy Galaxy

**Author's Note:**

> hello loves i wrote this in between college applications and school work as a way to destress and i accidentally fell in love with what i created, so im sharing this with yall.

They face each other on the bed, Neil kneeling before Andrew, and he wants to imagine that they are what hesitancy embodies. The air around them is thick and Andrew’s eyes glow a deep amber in the dim room lighting and Neil can taste the uncertainty between them. Their mixed breaths serve as a reminder of how close they are; how precariously they dangle before each other. 

_Ask whatever you need to set yourself free,_ Neil thinks. His eyes never leave Andrew’s and his core begins to burn from how tensely he holds himself up. He will remain as stoic and as solid as Andrew needs him to be, no matter if the bedding upsets his balance, because Andrew has been solid for him. He has been the stability and the solidity that Neil has craved his whole life, he needs to be that foundation for Andrew as well. 

Andrew cocks his head up at Neil, and there’s something on his face Neil has never seen before; something raw, something that he thinks he shouldn’t be allowed to see. Neil gazes back, scared that if he looks away then Andrew’s face will never be this open again. He allows himself a moment to absorb this new side of Andrew, his face softened by the shadows among them. 

Neil has never considered anything beautiful because he has seen how ugly the world can be, but at this moment there’s no other way to describe Andrew other than angelic. The irony there isn’t lost upon Neil; he knows that Andrew is the furthest thing from angelic and that he’s known as a monster, but in this moment he’s ethereal. The moonlight encases Andrew’s face and body; his blond hair illuminates a halo that Neil can’t seem to blink away. His usually brown eyes are like honey now and Andrew’s pale skin reflects the moonlight in a way that leaves Neil breathless by how pure he appears. 

Andrew in the moonlight is a sight that is almost too much for Neil and he has to refrain himself from reaching out to touch him. He feels a childlike curiosity overtake him and his thoughts are filled with Andrew. If Neil reaches out, will Andrew’s halo disappear? If he touches this angelic being, will he too be consumed by its purity? 

Slowly, Neil moves his hand from where it previously rested against his side and hovers it before Andrew’s face. The question passes between them quietly, Neil asking with his eyes and Andrew consenting with a slight nod. Carefully Neil cups Andrew’s face, who in turn gently nuzzles his cheek into Neil’s palm. The action is tender and there’s a warm weight that consumes Neil’s chest. 

“Andrew,” Neil whispers to the room. He’s not sure why he says his name, but the warmth inside him has begun to burn and Neil has to soften the heat before it becomes flames. Hesitantly, Neil’s other hand comes up to hold Andrew’s face as well. 

Andrew nods again and suddenly Neil has the world in his hands; the room they’re in is merely the galaxy that surrounds them with the moonlight serving as a beacon. Andrew’s skin is smooth and his jawline is concave just enough for Neil to run his thumb over and in this moment in time there’s an openness between them that feels delicate. 

“‘Drew,” Neil whispers again. Because he has to. Because there’s no other name he’d rather whisper like prayer. Because he can. 

_Ask whatever you need to set yourself free,_ Neil thinks again. This openness between them creates stars amongst their galaxy and the heat in Neil’s chest feels as if the sun is inside of him. If Neil is the sun then Andrew is the moon that follows in his wake, always present and watching. He is the shadows that soothe the burns left from the sun and Neil needs this. He needs Andrew. He needs him now. 

There’s a spark in the air and Neil thinks Andrew has sensed his realization. Looking down at Andrew again, Neil’s eyes ask if he can move his hands to his hair. He needs something to grip, something to hold and remind Neil that they’re solid and whole beings. 

Andrew surveys his eyes for a moment before giving another soft nod. Neil wishes he could read Andrew’s thoughts as he slides his hands into his hair and tangles his fingers between the strands. Andrew leans into the hold once again, tilting his head back slightly to press against Neil’s palms once more and closes his eyes. His neck is now fully exposed; Neil has to divert his eyes before he does something he’ll regret. 

They sit like this for as long as Andrew needs, long enough that Neil worries he’s fallen asleep with his head in his hands. Then, honey eyes meet Neil’s blue ones and a ghost of a smile can be seen on Andrew’s face before he whispers, “Neil”. 

It’s only a name, but it’s Neil’s name; not Josten, not junkie, not idiot or pipe dream. Neil. It’s one syllable, yet contains a multitude of permissions and keys that have been hidden away for nineteen years. 

“I’m right here.” Neil says, emphasizing his promise by tugging gently against the hair between his fingers. 

That’s all the confirmation Andrew seems to need before pulling Neil down so that they’re eye to eye. They’re close now, inches apart with Neil’s hands still in Andrew’s hair, and Neil holds his breath. 

Leaning closer, slowly as to give Andrew time to back away if needed, Neil ghosts his lips over Andrew’s before whispering, “Ask whatever you need to set yourself free.” 

Andrew’s breath hitches before he exhales, “Yes or no?” 

“Yes.” Neil rushes out without any hesitation. He knows what’s going to follow this yes, he knows that the heat inside him is about to meet gasoline, he knows an eclipse is about to happen by the way Andrew’s grip on his neck tightens and suddenly they’re kissing. 

The heat inside of Neil ignites into flames the moment his lips meet Andrew’s and in this moment he believes that there is a God who has moved heaven and earth to bring this angelic being into Neil’s life. The kiss tastes of the moon and all its hidden sins; the moon’s shadows lick against the heat of the fire inside of Neil. 

There’s stars around them, Neil is sure of this. The sun and moon have collided so there must be an explosion of stars cascading before them. Andrew’s hands tug roughly at Neil’s hair and the fire clashes against the chill Andrew has harbored his entire life. Is this how the galaxy was created? It must be, because in this moment Neil can feel the entirety of the galaxy before them as they kiss. 

Neil isn’t sure where he’s allowed to touch, he doesn’t have a map to follow, so his hands stay above Andrew’s shoulders. He only allows himself to stroke Andrew’s face with his thumbs and to tangle his fingers within his hair. In the haze of their collision they have fallen so that Andrew is now on top of Neil and the weight pressed upon him is the sanctuary he has craved. Here, under Andrew, Neil has found the holy grounds that he wishes to pray upon. 

Just when the galaxy and the holy grounds have settled into one entity, Andrew breaks the kiss. He hovers over Neil as they both struggle to catch their breath; it’s clear that what they have just created has shaken them to their core. There will be no returning from this. The sun and the moon have now fused into one and their galaxy has become godly. 

With Andrew above him, Neil feels the childlike curiosity overtake him again. From this angle it’s impossible to distinguish Andrew from an angel and all Neil wants to do is run his fingers over him until he memorizes him. He wants to create a map for Andrew, because no one else has ever tried. He wants to show him that touch can be gentle and that what they have created is sacred. 

Instead, Neil’s hands remain by his sides and he allows Andrew to do whatever he pleases. He understands the overwhelmed feeling overtaking Andrew, so he remains quiet. He allows Andrew to roll off of him and he remains still as the boy settles onto his back next to him. They stare at the ceiling, absorbing the openness between them, and Neil knows that when daylight comes the barriers will be built again. 

For now, Neil is content with what he has been given. Andrew’s silence is a key being presented to him, so Neil will take it and he will cherish it and he will unlock whatever doors Andrew will allow. Their kiss was their prayer, their galaxy was their oath, and Andrew’s key is their omen. That is enough for Neil, so he closes his eyes and trusts that the stars they created will watch over them.

Tonight, they have been freed. 

**Author's Note:**

> its more of a scene than a fic, honestly, but i was encouraged to publish this thanks to daniela (loveandwarandmagick on ao3/tumblr) who is lovely. 
> 
> thank you for reading, comments and kudos are always appreciated <3


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